I was NOT expecting this, we were not expecting this! I know so many people who laughed at the idea of virtual support, and while I do believe much of what birth work and what Doula work specifically is about, is physical support, there is a huge population of people that we are excluding, we are limiting our support options. That can’t be true access/support for all, right?
You see, I have a love/hate relationship with my profession. There is so much good happening, and yet, people can be so self serving and focused on how to capitalize, instead of doing the work. I know when I say those words, some people may roll their eyes, or frown, and I am not saying that you should not get paid for the work you do, but, I am saying that that should not be your main focus or only goal. Quincy Jones said in an interview, that “God walks out of the room when you’re thinking about money.” And again, not that you shouldn’t be paid for your services, but when that is your focus, you may have a harder time achieve that “success” you deem so important.
Let me explain something to you, I am not just talking about my fellow colleagues, I too have gotten lost in that world. Just this morning I was having a conversation with a fellow Founder, someone I respect, and said, in the world of monetizing our businesses and having to prove to investors, the naysayers or whatever voice means the most to you and your success, just how much value we possess, money is the only goal, and that for one, never worked for me. But in comparing myself to other businesses that are successful, I wanted to make sure my focus was on being “successful” and in the beginning, that wasn’t the goal, and then somewhere along the way, it shifted.
Right now, I have had nothing but time to reflect, listen, really hear myself and my thoughts. I trust me, before I trust anyone else. And that feeling of icky-ness that I was feeling about my trajectory, came to a head when CV-19 decided not only to put this world on pause, but my businesses included. What I’ve really gotten to see is that people are mostly good, and want to do the right thing and support one another, but somewhere underneath all of that are people looking to capitalize on people’s fears. I don’t want that on me, I don’t want that in my spirit.
At my recent weekly post partum group that I facilitate, my clients, ranging in the 4 weeks to 8 month range, post partum period, have been sharing with me their deepest fears joys, and what I know to be true is that people need support, they need a hug, they need an ear to listen, and a shoulder to cry on. I also know that in some of our quests to “capitalize”, we have forgotten to listen to one another. We have forgotten that the only voice that matters, when we are providing a service or support, is the voice of the person in need. Otherwise, who are you really serving?